What a Gem

I told this story in front of a live audience at The Moth. The theme was “schooled,” and oh, the lessons I learned.  A lot of people learn about diamonds when they get… Continue reading

To Kill an Ego

This was my first live storytelling experience at The Moth. The theme was divorce. Hilarity, insecurity, and awkwardness ensue. When I was a little girl growing up in Kentucky, I always imagined that… Continue reading

Nailed It

I wrote and prepped this story for a live performance at The Moth in San Francisco. The theme was creepy. Well done, Mom.  I think it’s fair to say that most people don’t… Continue reading

“I have les iPhones!”

You know what smart people do when they move to a foreign country? They plan on getting a bank account and a phone in their new country. You know what I did when… Continue reading

Omnipotence Has Its Privileges

He couldn’t take it. He wanted to gouge his eye out. He needed to. He imagined wedging the splintery end of the Starbucks wooden stir stick right underneath his eyeball and jiggling it until it… Continue reading

The Plant Flowers on Dead Relatives’ Graves Tour, 2020

Back in January, I planned all my trips for the year – some great ones that I was really looking forward to, but none more important than the one I began calling the… Continue reading

Everyday Granite

Walmart: kind of an asshole. Apologies in advance if you’re a fan, because you may never shop there again after you read this. At least I hope you won’t. ******* It’s the day… Continue reading

The Best Gift You’ll Ever Give: A New Memory

{About a 2-minute read} I walked through her house and grabbed everything I could fit in my arms. They were just things. Glasses. Scarves. Coffee cups. Pens. But they were her things. The… Continue reading

You Are Who You Meet: Why Your Daily Five Can Make or Break You

{About a 4-minute read} Two years ago, if you’d asked me who I spent the most time with, my answer would’ve sounded ridiculous. Because the truth was, I spent most of my time… Continue reading

How to Do Something You Know Is Completely Stupid but 100% Right for You

{About a 3-minute read} I have big, amazing news, everyone: I’m expecting. Before you start having visions of me injecting my single-not-dating-a-soul ass with drugs that make me fertile, let me stop you.… Continue reading